Scared

She says she is scared of
Good
Is it really okay to be
Okay
What happens when sickness no longer
Creeps at every edge
Dis-ease the way of things
What if this smile is really real this time?
No longer a mask of faux-perfection
How will she know
Facade from truth
Can she know?
She was so good
At hiding
She didn't even know herself
Had no clue she was holding up a lie
That shining veneer
Fooled a lot of people
If they noticed a crack in the disguise
She ran
Harder, better, faster, stronger
(words of a favorite song)
When she first met those
Who could behold
The terror behind
Her veil
She was shaken to the core
(Oh, but bury that, QUICK!
Never let them see you scared, crying)
A call to arms for the hidden Self
"Come forth, it's time; the world needs
you, ALL of you"
She laughs and sighs
Smile fades and sadness dances
Across the mirror of her sparkling eyes
Another smile
This one, deep and knowing and mischievous
Even seductive
Scared sometimes of going back,
Yet learning there is no such thing
As back
Only forward
Trusting, knowing
Home is always here

~ Amber Keating // 03.06.18