You

It's rainy today, all cold and gloom
Like the day I left you
I hardly knew then how badly I needed
To leave
To run free
To scream
Rage flowing from every pore
But today I'm left thinking of
You
Again
Your inability to love anyone but
You
A woman-child
Raising a daughter to be
more woman than herself
Not sure how you did it
Gave me just enough to
Recognize I needed out
Then follow through
I was supposed to watch the kids
But you left with them
And a window appeared
An opportunity I'd never
Thought possible
You thought a mechanical
Error would stop me
You should have known better
Of the lionhearted firebrand
You raised
You ensured I would
always.  find.  my.  way.
I guess I can thank you for that
You
Who couldn't really give anything
You needed so much
That you never got
Thinking maybe I'd give it to
You
And you made it clear you were
Always disappointed
So I kept trying to give what could never fill
Your emptiness
And grasping for what you couldn't give
Until that window opened
Sunshine parting moody sky
For a moment
To light my way
I still cry sometimes
Just like the sky is today
23 years later
I've learned to how to love myself
You
Taught me that
The long way around

© Amber Keating, 03.15.18